2 Samuel 3

This verse still belongs to the previous chapter. It is not just a communication on military force ratios. The verse also says that David must patiently learn how God will lead his cause. He has to wait for God’s time, and he does. In the long war between the house of Saul and the house of David, the first house is getting weaker and weaker and the second stronger and stronger.

This is how it goes in the life of the believer. In the war between the house of Saul and the house of David, we can see the spiritual growth of someone who has come to know the Lord Jesus. As he begins to live more with Him, he will increase in spiritual strength and the flesh will have less chance to assert itself. If we give the Spirit authority in our lives, the flesh will not have a chance to manifest itself.

These verses are between two verses about the war between the house of Saul and the house of David (verses 1,6). While David waits quietly, our attention is focused on his family. This develops in a way which is not after God’s mind. The seed has been laid, from which later many troubles for David will come forth. This suggests that we can quietly wait for God’s time, but which it is not intended that we should be dealing with wrong things. Not that starting a family is wrong, but the way David does do this, is.

David is not only a picture of the Lord Jesus. He is in his weakness and sins also a picture of us. We find in these verses that he has taken even more wives next to Abigail and Ahinoam. In doing so, he has not only gone even further against the order of God’s creation, but also against God’s explicit law for kingship, in which it is forbidden to take more than one wife (Deu 17:17a). From his several wives, he has sons who have caused major problems.

In Hebron David has six sons. They are not boys who have given him much pleasure. In particular Amnon, Absalom and Adonijah will break David’s heart as father. Hebron means ‘fellowship’, but to be in a place that speaks of fellowship is not yet a guarantee that everything that happens there is also a consequence of fellowship with God. What later becomes the fall of Solomon, his many wives, is unfortunately not strange to David either.

Having ’only’ one wife is not a guarantee for a good marriage, nor is it a guarantee that children born in this marriage only cause joy. Having more than one wife, however, is completely against the will of God and is guaranteed to cause problems. How much troubles and worries David would have spared himself if he had limited himself to Abigail.

His first son is Amnon, the son of Ahinoam. David possible has taken Ahinoam after he has taken Abigail as his wife (1Sam 25:43). Amnon rapes his half-sister (2Sam 13:11-14).

Through Abigail he receives his second son, Chileab, also called Daniel (1Chr 3:1). From him we hear nothing else. He may have died young.

The third son, Absalom, is born from his relationship with “Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur”. How he got to her is not known. It may have been a political marriage. Maybe she was taken prisoner by him (1Sam 27:8). Geshur is located in Syria (2Sam 15:8), a neighboring people. David had a particular weakness for this son. This could not prevent and possibly even led Absalom to revolt against his father and to kick him off the throne to take place there himself (2 Samuel 14-18).

Adonijah, the fourth son, is also someone who wants to kick his father off the throne to become a king himself (1Kgs 1:5-10,41-53). This is after Absalom died.

Of the fifth and sixth son we only know their names.

Here the history of the civil war continues. Abner is the actual ruler in the house of Saul and not Ish-bosheth. This is clear when Ish-bosheth asks Abner about his adulterous behavior with the concubine of his father Saul. Apparently Abner has taken this sideline. He did so not only because he liked her, but to strengthen his position in Saul’s house even more. We also see it later with David when he wants Michal back. We also see it with Absalom and Adonijah. It is all for the same purpose: to obtain more power.

Abner feels Ish-bosheth’s question as a reproach. That is also right, because his behavior is culpable. But Abner doesn’t accept the reproach. He makes himself angry and accuses Ish-bosheth of being ungrateful. He wants to show ‘kindness’ and then Ish-bosheth dares to blame him for an iniquity with a woman! In his wounded pride and proudness Abner says that he will give David the kingdom. This will be a new temptation for David, after in 2 Samuel 1 an Amalekite has already offered it to him (2Sam 1:1-10).

Abner seems to know that the LORD has given the kingship to David. Therefore his resistance by making Ish-bosheth king is sin. He acts consciously against the will of God. Abner has joined Ish-bosheth to exercise power himself. Noting that David will eventually win and become king, he proposes to go over to David. He wants to do that in a way that will benefit him most.

Abner’s threats affect Ish-bosheth. He tones down and doesn’t let himself be heard anymore. It shows his weak character and who really is in power.

Abner turns the words into deeds and sends messengers to David. They propose on his behalf to David to make a covenant with him to have all Israel turn to David. In his weakness David consents. He will have been glad that the matter would finally be decided. Here, however, he should have said that he was waiting for God’s time.

Immediately following Abner’s proposal and his agreement to it, David acts as if the matter is already settled. He sends messengers to Ish-bosheth with the request to send Michal, his wife, to him. Maybe he still loved her. Michal was and remained his wife because marriage is inextricable.

Abner does not only consult with David. He also consults with the elders of Israel. He knows their feelings for David. He cleverly responds to make his intention succeed and give David the kingdom. With the encouragement “now then, do [it]!” he directs, without any time for reflection, toward a decision for his plan. He tells them it is now or never. In this way he puts pressure on the matter. He has a special consultation with the tribe of Benjamin. It is important that this tribe, to which also Saul belonged, should join his plans.

After his diplomatic tour around the parties involved, which he had to win for his plan, Abner goes to David with the results. He has managed to get all the parties on his side. They are all ready to make a covenant with David, so that he can rule over what his soul desires, that is over what the LORD has promised him. David is completely won over to the plan and lets Abner go in peace.

However, there is one absent in this matter and that is the LORD. We don’t hear David consulting Him. Abner will do it, not the LORD. This makes this matter not only a precarious undertaking, but an undertaking doomed to failure.

The lesson is that we should not let ourselves be taken in by all kinds of diplomatic attempts to win us for a certain point of view, but that we should ask the Lord for His will. We can apply this, among other things, to changes within the church, for which sometimes frantically can be lobbied to get them implemented. Let us test proposals for change against God’s Word.

It is not inconceivable that Abner planned his visit to David at a moment that it could take place during the absence of Joab. When Joab hears of it, he is very displeased. He blames David for having let Abner leave unhindered. He does not hesitate to make false accusations. What he says to David is a reminder of Abner’s attitude toward Ish-bosheth.

David has paid too much attention to this bad man. The language and tone of Joab are inappropriate for a cousin who speaks to his uncle and are certainly inappropriate for a commander who speaks to his king. But David accepts it, without any resistance.

We may wonder how it is possible that a powerful king is so weak against a man like Joab. Why is it that David could not free himself from this man? It is not clear from history. Perhaps family relationships have played a role. As the history continues, David does not seem to possess the spiritual power in his family that he possesses as king. His performance as a father is downright weak and in some respects even wrong and culpable.

The fact that God is going to use Joab to prevent David’s foolish intention to make a covenant with Abner does not mean that Joab is acting well. It is more often the case that God uses the sinful actions of people to achieve His goal. This is the wisdom of God. God does not encourage Joab, but uses his jealousy to kill Abner and thus prevent the covenant. We can suppose Joab’s jealousy, because in Abner he saw a formidable competitor for his position as a general in David’s army. If Abner would go over to David, it could mean that Abner would be placed above him.

After his collision with David Joab follows his own course. He does not care about David and the agreements made, but acts as judge himself. Completely apart from David he has Abner brought back with an excuse. He pretends to discuss something personal with Abner and lures him into a trap (cf. Psa 55:21). Abner falls into the trap. When Joab is alone with Abner, he kills him.

What Joab does is a mean, cunning action. In this way, he brings upon himself the curse of the law: “‘Cursed is he who strikes his neighbor in secret.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen’” (Deu 27:24). Abner had killed Joab’s brother in battle and also after two warnings (2Sam 2:18-23). Joab kills Abner in peacetime. Later David gives this to his son Solomon as a reason to let Joab be killed (1Kgs 2:5-6).

When David hears of Joab’s deed, he clearly distances himself from it. He judges Joab’s performance. His reaction makes it clear that he really regrets this event. This is, after all, the reason why the other tribes accept him as their king.

David’s grief over Abner is real. Israel needs to see that there is no intention on David’s part. It is also an indication for us to take away the appearance of partiality wherever we can. We do not take away that appearance by defending ourselves, but by showing the right attitude.

David curses Joab and his whole family. In doing so, he shows his disgust for Joab’s crime. His curse, however, is without much strength. He should have punished as well. Verse 30 shows that Joab also involved his brother Abishai in the complot against and murder of Abner. It is a reprehensible revenge action, which they organized because Abner killed their brother Asahel. The Holy Spirit adds that Abner has put “Asahel to death in the battle”. This shows superfluously that the retaliatory action by Joab and Abishai is unjustified.

David says to Joab and all the people to lament. If Joab has lamented, it will not have gone warmly. David himself goes after the bier. He is close to the dead, as if Abner was his best friend. Also at the grave of Abner the grief of David is great. He cries loudly and the people share in the grief with him. Of Joab we read nothing.

We see with David the same attitude he showed after the news of Saul’s death. Just as he did over Saul and Jonathan, David also chants a lament over Abner. Through his attitude and reaction to the murder of Abner, the people are won over to the king. David calls here Joab and Abishai “the wicked” (verse 34). He praises Abner and calls him “a prince and a great man”.

David acknowledges his weakness. He has just become king and faces an enormous task. On the other hand are “these men the sons of Zeruiah”, who are Joab and Abishai, whom he calls “too difficult for me“ or “harder than me”. That David feels weak and is not as hard as “these men” shows a good mind. It is important that the people are governed with care and tenderness and not with a hard hand. We see the effect of a hard government when the son of Solomon, Rehoboam, comes to power. It results in the division of the empire (1Kgs 12:1-19).

God’s king is someone who in the first place shepherds God’s people and then also is prince over that people (1Chr 11:2). Caring for God’s people comes first.

Anyone who has been given a place by the Lord as pastor among His people may pray that the Lord will teach him a lot from Himself as the good Shepherd. When he restored Peter after his denial of Him, He said to Peter in the first place: “Tend My lambs.” Only then did he speak of the shepherding of the sheep (Jn 21:15-17).